Even If

Frustrated and angry, I began blaming God, “why must you leave me in this state? Why must I always feel like a second-class citizen? Will you make all of my fears come true? Why is it that everyone else’s desires are fulfilled the way they want them?” And it dawned on me: What if God allows the […]

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Led By God

Hand raised and voice booming, he closed his eyes and started shaking as he prayed. His words turned into an unintelligible repetition of syllables. He walked around pointing at random members of the congregation and spoke their future, using the emphatic claim: “thus says the Lord.”  I sat, watching from afar, frustrated and angered over the […]

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Am I Called?

This was originally written for The Advanced Initiative. You can see it here. At seventeen years old, I stood in front of hundreds of people at an altar call. I was sick of being entrenched in the throes of pornography and depression. I remember getting to the front of our makeshift sanctuary and praying, “God, if […]

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Break Ups and Hard Graces

We sat in silence for a few moments. We looked at each other and she asked me “Are you breaking up with me?” Time seemed to stop. The next word broke through the deafening silence: “Yes.” Everything that happened next is forever engrained in my mind: her tears; the hurt in her eyes; and the long […]

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Romance

Many of us have parents and friends who love us in spite of the dumb things we do.  Whether you threaten to call CPS on your parents for spanking you, or you smother Vaseline on the door handles of your friend’s dormitory, you know that there is a certain love and care between them and you. Yet, that […]

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Let’s Be Friends

Friendships between men and women are fun and complicated. I had a hard time being friends with women because I did not know how to treat them well. There was a conscious fear that I had to make sure that I always said the right things and did not say anything that could be misinterpreted. […]

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Illumination Over Degrees

I do not see Jesus clearer because I have a degree in biblical and theological studies. I see Jesus because His Spirit opens my eyes every moment to see. I can sit here and discuss the differences between infralapsarianism and supralapsarianism; atonement theories; ecclesiological and eschatological distinctions; church polity; covenant theology vs. dispensationalism; or the helpful systematic […]

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